Retro Dream :Tim is Dead

ok so i had another dream about my first boyfriend, Rob, last night. it really disturbs me that i keep dreaming of him. there's got to be a reason.

that got me thinking of the dream that really haunts my life. i had it about 8 or 9 years ago and it still sticks to me as if i dreamed it last night. i truly believe that it was a dream telling me someone was in danger. so enjoy.

Matt and i are on our honeymoon and we're coming back to our new home (at this point in life, we weren't even engaged). Our home is in a new town, a Transylvanian town. When we get to the gates, we see a riot. The townspeople are in a rage with pitchforks and torches. then they all collectively turn to face us and start chasing us. we're the people they're raging against.

cut to the front of our new house. it's a castle. we run in and bar the doors shut with the big wooden bar like in the movies. we hear them all. "WHERE'S TIMMY!?" over and over. "WE KNOW YOU KILLED HIM!" they're banging on the door. they're banging on the windows. "HE DISAPPEARED AS SOON AS YOU LEFT FOR YOUR TRIP! WHERE IS HE!?!?"

Matt turns to me and says "do you know a Timmy? i can't think of one i know." i start thinking really hard and suddenly a kid i knew that lived down the street from me, Tim Yeagley, popped in my head. "i knew a Timmy when i was growing up" i said.

"Think of him and search for him quickly", Matt says.

We run through the castle looking in each room. We finally come to our new bedroom. it's all laid out for our welcome. roses everywhere. candles. petals on the bed. then i suddenly know where Timmy is. i look under the bed and there he is, covered in clothes. He's dead.

i make myself wakeup, but i am sweating. I sit up and yell his name "TIMMY". it wakes matt up and he literally has to calm me down.

about a week later i'm working at Bombay when a childhood friend walks in, Chris. We're talking and catching up when i realize, this is Timmy's brother. i ask him how Tim is, in a slow quiet manner. Chris asks me what's wrong and i tell him i had a dream about his brother. he says "Was it a death dream"? i froze and nodded. He told me that Tim was overseas with the millitary and had an accident and had been seriously hurt the past week and they weren't sure if he'd make it. i seriously felt my stomach fall out of my body. i had the creeps for weeks.

i have no doubt that i dreamed about Tim the day he got hurt overseas.

I just friended Timmy on Facebook today. I'm so happy he made it!

Freaky High School

I've been away for awhile. I've been learning to DJ from a friend and it's gone really well. it seems that my love of music has reignited once again. the problem with that is the music was taking over my dream life. i dreamed maybe once a week for the past few months and then i would forget them quickly due to some random song playing in my head as i woke up.

Finally the dreams have returned. and just in time for a FREAKY experience!

I dream that i've been invited to a formal affair at my old high school. Glitz, glam, very Academy Awards-ish. all the alumni are invited. not being one to turn down a chance to dress up, i return the rsvp and go dress shopping.

cut to the event.

i arrive and find no one from the class of '94 there. the event is held in the old auditorium. i walk in and am announced by myself... "Heather Hamlin O'Bryan. Class of 1994". i enter and see someone waving at me. it's an actual classmate, Noel Dillard. i take a seat next to him. i hadn't thought about Noel in years. he was a troubled kid. he was picked on relentlessly and fought back with tooth and nail. it did not make it easy being friends with him. sometimes the fighting back would get so loud and rude, it'd turn on you and he'd start spewing at his own friends. i don't blame him. kids are cruel.

after awhile of boring awards (of which i have no idea what it was for), we skip out to check out the old school. we go to the old smoking block. we try to hack into our old lockers. we just have fun being dressed up and kids again. it was an incredibly fun dream. i dream of high school quite often and it's never actually a good dream, it's usually very scary. it was a nice change.

*awake*

all day this kid, Noel, was in my mind. i never thought i'd think about him again. last time i saw him was a few years after graduation. i had grown my hair out and discovered it was VERY curly. when we ran into each other, he told me i looked like Medusa. now i know he was just kidding but back then i was so insecure, i held that with me for a long time.

i decide to go look him up. where do i always start when i go to look someone up? MYSPACE.

log on.

new messages

Subj: Heather's Glenvar High!

from: NOEL.

I FREAKED RIGHT THE FUCK OUT!

Lets see what Sandra A Thompson has to say...

School (there was no “High School” in the dreamer’s dictionary) – It is likely some recent situation awakened old anxieties/insecurities about skills/abilities. (DJing the art show perhaps?)

Award (there was no “Award Show” in the dreamer dictionary) - Consider who’s receiving the award, for what, and how you feel about it to help you decide whether you’re honoring yourself; have a wish for recognition; Could the dream be saying you’ve been abandoned or are alone – orphaned in some way? (that last part is a crock.)

Friend – if known, but the dream situation doesn’t reflect an actual waking situation, the image/character may represent characteristics you need to incorporate/recognize in yourself.



I can see that maybe my dream was pointing out my nervousness about the Art Show but then telling me that it’s ok, I should honor myself. Maybe i also need to be tougher, like Noel, about some situations i've been slinking away from lately. i need to stand up for myself and not let others run over me.

you know i put no stock into this dream dictionary, right? but it's FUN to try to figure it out!

The ex

I dream of Robert Hutton at least once a month. He was my first REAL boyfriend. I dated him at church and the boy was gorgeous. i was really surprised i could get a guy like that, little did i know he had a REAL girlfriend of his own at school. thus begins the story of my dating life.

I dream that i'm with Jayna Byrd at her house (which looks like my grandmother's trailer). We're tying to get her dogs to be friends with my cats. it's not working. something strange happens and my cats start multiplying. i know how to fix the problem, but i have to gather up all the little vyvyans, ricks, sassies and hatties and put them together before i can do this little magic trick thing to make them all one again. i finally do it, keep them locked in one room away from the dogs, and Jayna and i go looking for some fun.

We decide it would be fun to look up Robert Hutton and see what he's been up to for the last... umm, 15 years. how Jayna knows him is beyond me, but it was TOTALLY her idea. We cruise his old neighborhood and luckily we find him very easy... he's still living with his parents. i get up the nerve to walk up and say hi to him in his front yard and he doesn't recognize me (which happens in every dream about him). I notice how good looking he still is, but he def looks a bit old in the eyes. we have a conversation about what we've been up to and jayna takes off to check on the animals.

Robert and i go into his house and it looks the same. i see his sister and we chat for a bit. Rob goes on and on about himself and i get bored after awhile and want to leave. He keeps trying to hit on me, but i know better. i tell him i have an awesome husband and matt's cuter than he ever was.

awake.

this dream (besides the weirdness of jayna being there and the whole cat multiplying thing) seems to make perfect sense to me... i found true happiness after years of being with the wrong men. i shouldn't look to other men to fulfill something i already have. :)

Lets see what Sandra A Thompson has to say:

cat(s)- Instinctual energy that's been tamed and is relatively close to consciousness; feminine power/energy; the feminine archetype; female genitals. (nice! this makes PERFECT sense to me on so many levels)

dog(s) - loyalty/fidelity, especially to your own values/intentions; therefore, your ability to go forward in the world with a strong internal base. (matt!)

magic - Having magical powers represents the capacity to get what you want, to make your dreams come true. it may represent your own special, unique abilities; a reaction to feelings of powerlessness in waking life; a need for control...over the elements, your inner nature.

The Hospital is Too Big for Me to Escape!

Now that i'm typing out that title, i seem to recall that i do have this dream often, in different variations. the one i had last night is actually two dreams i have that formed into one. it starts out with a day of fun with an unidentifiable friend. she is very familiar to me but i can't place her. we are at a VERY familiar amusement park. it is one i dream of often that starts out fun and ends up evil. while we are having fun and trying to catch the rides before they close (which is always the case in this dream), my friend gets a call that a loved one has been in an accident.

Cut to the evil hospital (which is the other dream). We are trying to find where her relative is and we are sent through a maze of hallways until we arrive at a pool. we have to get into bathing suits to see her relative (WTF? did her relative turn into an octopus ore something). as we're standing in line waiting to see them, i realize that i left my dog, Darcie, in the car since we had first arrived at the amusement park and i started to worry about her. i decided to cut loose from my unidentifiable friend and go get Darcie and give her some water. As i am leaving my friend begs me to stay and cries uncontrollably, but i MUST get to Darcie. that is when i realize the whole dream was trying to prevent me from getting to my dog. I try to leave the hospital, but as the dream always goes, i am lost behind door after door... hallway after hallway. after panic attacks and freak outs, i finally find myself outside only to be facing the evil amusement park.

it looks different now. it's dark. it's glowing these purple, green and blue colors as if it's under black light. it looks like a painting from the distance. I can see all the rides and by then i realize that i'm in the same dream that i've had many times. I know what to do to get past the evil rides and get out of that park. i MUST water and walk Darcie. i almost float past the rides as if i'm on a zip line and i get to the entrance/exit. it's then that the trouble starts. it's very strange to explain. these things... they pop up in lots of my dreams. they're eyes. then they're eyes and a nose. but not just one... thousands. and they make a noise... kinda like when mario smushes a turtle. actually. come to think of it, these things look very nintendo like. they are growing on the sidewalk and they're trying to grow on me. it's almost like when tar bubbles up... they are just bubbling up out of the sidewalk and forming. the faster i walk the faster the eyes multiply and then start growing noses. then faces and so on... they are assembling an army to keep me from Darcie. I try to fight them but they're too fast. i am being drowned in them and suddenly i KNOW what they are. i realize they are the things that terrorize me in my sleep and i burst through them and exit the evil amusement park.

it's then that i wake up and see my darling Darcie sleeping. as i take in the dream i realize i wasn't "completing the steps" to save Darcie, but i was doing them to actually wake up. dreams like that scare me. What if one day i can't complete the steps and i can't wake up?

What Sandra A. Thompson says:

Amusement Park : An Amusement park, if dark, quiet and empty, it may be time to open yourself to more fun and adventure. see carnival. (but what if it's quiet, dark, emty, and EVIL?)

Carnival : It may symbolize the need for fun; the chance to compete or show prowess; the opportunity to view freaks or distorted aspects of yourself at the sideshow. It can symbolize surges of energy/excitement; the "ups and downs" of life; frivolity; letting down inhibitions; or the goddess Car, patroness of carnivals. (carnival sounds a lot like ROLLER DERBY to me)

Hospital: Anxieties about your health; an existing medical situation; an upcoming medical experience; and ailing friend or family member (jill?). Occurrences in the hospital may reflect your feelings about past/present medical care. if there's no medical condition in your waking life, they may refer to your own inner ability to take care of yourself physically/emotionally. the book goes on....